Dear diary,

why am i so pathetic.

i do not have any friends.

why am i always so lonely.
i feel so empty.
nothingness has consumed me.
maybe i deserved all this,
for being an asshole my entire life.
i have so much to say.
but no one to hear me out.
diary , please keep this to yourself and no one else.
even if people know it wouldn't matter.

its on these lonely nights that i realise i have no friends.
everybody is too busy with their own plans.
while i'm just an insignificant prick in their eyes.
my presence does not mean a thing anyway.

i would prefer to die
but i don't have to courage to end it myself.
will anyone do it for me?
as a favor?

nevertheless, since i now know no one has time for me,
i shall not be shameless and disturb them no further.
its time me to move on.

i don't have the talent in making friends, i'm just another retard
in this society.
you think i am strong?
no, diary.
i may look carefree and making a joke out of everything.
i am not ok.
i need care, i need concern.
i need to feel.
because right now, i don't feel a single thing at all.

i disappoint everyone,
i make people sad.
i'm a joke.

home this early at 9pm.
on a saturday,
sunday i have no plans.
i don't intend to ask anyone out.
i see my phone.
no one to text.
no one to call.
whats my phone for?
games?
grew tired of it.

tried in soak in with other people's happiness.
maybe i'm just an attetion seeker.
a lonely fucker with an attitude.

something is definety wrong with me.


i should keep these thoughts inside of me.
so diary keep this with u.
let it be the past.
nothing will ever be the same anyway.


i should stop. if anyone is reading, please don't ask if i am ok.
you know the answer already.